We want sex to be an effortless performance in the best Hollywood style, where the woman is always willing, the man is always hard and the orgasms are always rolling in.
But let's face it – reality is rarely like that.
There can be many different reasons why your sex life isn't unfolding the way you'd like it to. This can refer both to the sex you have with yourself and the sex you have with your partner.
And you are not alone. There are plenty of men who, at one time or another in their lives, face the same challenges as you. The only question is what you want to do about it.
One thing you can do is read the blog post here.
I'm going to try to give you a toolbox of sex toysand aids to help you on your way to better sex and many more pleasurable experiences.
First stop
Although you probably can't wait to read on, we're going to take a trip to the doctor’s office first.
And now you might be thinking something along the lines of, no thanks, nope, huh-uh and hell no!
But I'm sorry to say, mate – you're not getting away.
That was the bad news. The good thing is that your doctor has definitely heard or seen something similar to your case before.
Whether you have trouble getting an erection, difficulty coming, ejaculating too early or you're upset about the size of your penis, your doctor knows best.
There can be a multitude of reasons for your particular problem. Some physical, others mental. And no sex toy or device can replace your doctor's professional assessment.
So go ahead and get it over with.
ED - the abbreviation no one wants to know
ED stands for erectile dysfunction, but you may be more familiar with the term impotence. This is - in short - when you have difficulty achieving and maintaining your erection.
The vast majority of men have experienced or will experience erection problems during their lifetime. The problems can be short-lived and transient or long-lasting to such an extent that your sex life and quality of life deteriorates.
The erection difficulty can have physical causes such as age, nerve damage to the spinal cord, diabetes or high blood pressure. It may be lifestyle-related if your diet consists of red steaks and Barolo and your exercise is the trip to the newsagent for cigarettes. It may also be your psyche that is getting in the way of your erection.
As mentioned earlier, your doctor can help you understand the cause.
And once you have, there are sex toys that can help you on your way to a solution.
Many people use penis pumps to get a temporarily larger penis during masturbation and sex. We'll get to that feature a little later.
You can also use a penis pump to help your erection along the way. The pump creates a vacuum inside its cylinder, forcing the blood into the penis, making it hard.
There are many different types of penis pumps in different designs. There are manual pumps where you need to use hand power. There are automatic pumps where you just have to press a button. There are pumps with and without a pressure gauge and then there are pumps that you use in the bath.
The function and technique are pretty much the same, so what you prefer is a matter of taste. Most importantly, don't pump too hard to begin with and listen to your body.
The indispensable penis ring
If you want to be sure to get the optimal effect, then listen to Beyoncé and “put a ring on it”. Though a penis ringdoes not look like much, it can be worth its weight in gold when it comes to erection difficulties.
If you are trying a penis pump, just put your penis ring around the base of the pump before you start. Then it is ready to roll down over the penis once you have an erection.
This way you make sure that all the blood that has filled the penis doesn’t return to the body immediately.
You can also use a penis ring without using a pump first if you can get an erection on your own, but "just" need a little assistance to maintain it.
The ring should tighten around the root of the penis, but it should not hurt and there should be no discoloration. It can sit on for up to 30 minutes at a time.
It just won’t stand at attention
There are situations and cases where nothing can be done – at least on the assistive technology front. Remember to consult your doctor if you are interested in medical or surgical treatment.
You can also look into products or aids that don't actually require you to be able to get an erection.
There are penis vibrators that can stimulate you and bring you to climax even if your penis is not hard. Look for models that focus the stimulation on the outer part of the penis and especially the sensitive string under the head of the penis.
Models like the Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Lux Penis Vibratorare designed for exactly that purpose, so there can be plenty of pleasure for you even if you don't get an erection.
The Onanist, December 5, 2021, “When you have problems with erectile dysfunction, this device is indispensable. It gives me a fantastic release every time and can't do without this device at all. It should not be taboo to talk about when it has such an amazing effect. The product actually exceeds my expectations.“
There is also the option to use a hollow strap-on if you want to have penetrative sex with your partner.
It’s not the size - it’s how you use it
Before I get started, let me just be clear - the size of your penis means a lot less to your partner than you think.
And if you're comparing yourself to potent porn stars, I'm happy to tell you that the average erect penis is not as big as you might think.
But if you're still tired of the size of your penis, here are a few tips for you.
But first I want to encourage you to change your mindset! Speak kindly to your mate – he deserves it.
And then you have an excellent opportunity to become a specialist in many other areas. For example, how can you best pleasure your partner with your hands? Can your tongue do gymnastics (in the nice way)? Are you going to become a vibrator expert?
But you can also try some of the following.
Pull out the pump again
As mentioned earlier, you can use a penis pumpfor a temporary enlargement of your penis.
The cylinder creates a vacuum around your shaft when the pump pumps the blood out into the penis. It makes you both tougher, bigger and extra sensitive #winwinwin.
Put a penis ring around the root of your shaft to enjoy the result as long as possible, but remember that the ring should only be fixed there for a maximum of 30 minutes.
The cloaked avenger
If you want to make it ultra easy, a penis sleevemight be the solution for you.
You can get black sleeves, transparent sleeves, thick sleeves, sleeves with straps and sleeves with knobs. You can get sleeves that give you an inch or two more in length and sleeves that make you an anaconda with two legs.
You put the sleeve on the penis before intercourse so you can satisfy your partner with more fullness, more length or even both.
There are also sleeves with a stimulating interior structure, so there is a little extra pleasure for you, too.
A permanent solution (?)
Until now, you have only heard of temporary solutions, but there is also a method that (with a good portion of patience) can give you a lasting enlargement.
In short, a penis extender is an aid that you put on the penis and let sit for several hours a day - or at night - over several months.
It lengthens the penis by forcing the tissue to produce new cells, and while it may sound violent, it is quite sound as long as you always follow the manufacturer's instructions.
PE - another abbreviation of the weary kind
Many people mistakenly believe that penetrative sex should last for a long time, but an average intercourse is 8 minutes long.
The spectrum is actually between 1 and 15 minutes.
PE is the abbreviation for premature ejaculation.
Suffering from premature ejaculation means you to come earlier than 3 minutes after sexual stimulation has begun each time you have penetrative sex.
If the cause is increased sensitivity, you can try a so-called delay cream to see if it's right for you. You will also find it under the name delay spray, and it is a small spray, gel or cream that you apply to your penis glans before you have sex.
It has a slight numbing effect, so you feel a bit less and thus last a bit longer. Whether you find it here at the shop or have your doctor prescribe a local anaesthetic cream is up to you.
You can also try using a condom to reduce sensitivity.
When there’s no orgasm
Just as it can be a problem to come too quickly, it can also be a problem not to come at all.
Again, there may be physical or mental reasons why your climax is absent, and your doctor can help you uncover it.
Once that is done, then there are various things you can try.
Extra stimulation
You can try extra stimulation to see if that makes orgasms roll over you. How about using a stimulating gel that increases blood flow, or perhaps a cooling or warming lubricant.
You can also try vibrations to see if they're for you. Explore our range of penis vibrators and see if there is something that works for you and your taste.
Remove focus
It sounds dull, I know - but try to see if you can remove focus from the problem for a while.
Do lots of what feels great. Both alone and when you are with your partner. Try to let go of the idea that you absolutely must reach your climax. That is not the purpose. It’s about having fun and feeling pleasure - which takes many forms.
A crooked one
Having a crooked penis can be both annoying and painful. Maybe your penis is skewed by nature, or maybe you have what is called Peyronie's disease.
Peyronie's disease is an inflammation-like condition in the spongy part of the penis (corpus cavernosum). This can form scar tissue during healing and make your tissue less elastic so your penis will bend when you get an erection.
A small angle is no problem, but if the bend is significant, then it can be difficult and painful to have intercourse.
And of course, that's not how it should be.
There are various medical and surgical treatments that your doctor can help you examine, so that’s where I recommend you start.
But there are also men who have had good results using a penis extender. Because even if your goal is not to make the penis bigger, an extension can help straighten the penis.
Bjørn, 2. oktober 2016,
“Have now been using male edge for about 8 months, not to get a bigger penis, but to straighten a curve. Had a curvature of 70 degrees, which is now reduced to 25 degrees after about 750 hours .... ”
The excerpt here is from a review of the penis extender Male Edge Pro.
The legendary prostate
When I say that the prostate is the man's G-spot and that stimulation of it can give dizzying orgasms, then most men become quite curious.
When I tell you that the prostate is located in the anus, many men lose interest quite quickly.
Unfortunately!
There are many good reasons to explore the erogenous zone. Here are a couple reasons why you should:
You can have extra intense orgasms
You can come without touching your penis at all
It reduces the risk of developing prostate cancer
Point number 3 gets full attention in the section below.
Masturbate yourself to better odds
A 2003 Australian study, based on responses from 2338 men of different ages, found that having an average of five or more ejaculations a week can reduce your chances of getting cancer before you turn 70 by up to 36%.
This is compared to if you get an average of two ejaculations a week.
According to Professor Graham Giles, the frequent ejaculations reduce the risk of prostate cancer because the ejaculations simply empty the prostate of the fluid that helps transport the semen out of the body.
This prevents the carcinogens that may be in the fluid from accumulating.
By the way, it is perfectly okay if you prefer to masturbate or have sex without any stimulation of the prostate. An ejaculation is an ejaculation.
But it is said to be extra effective if you massage the prostate too. The massage helps to increase the blood flow in the prostate and the gland is emptied even more effectively. You can either use your fingers or a prostate stimulator.
And just think – you might not get to eat that leftover iceberg lettuce and your fitness subscription might not be used. But if you remember to ejaculate five times a week, then at least you stay healthy in one way.
Good luck in the future
No matter how your penis behaves, you'll be stuck with it for the rest of your life – or it'll be stuck with you.
That's why it's really important that you take it seriously if you find yourself recognising one or more of the scenarios you've come across in this post.
I understand that it may be outside your comfort zone, but hey – seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It takes strength!
So here's a huge high five in your direction.
Perhaps part of the help lies in our range of men's sex toys. If you need help finding the right pleasure toy for you, our customer service team is ready to help.
I hope the fun times in the bedroom will become more and more frequent.
